Hi Everyone, I know it’s been a few weeks since I last wrote and that is rare. I’m sure you have noticed all the password protected posts that have been written to the Inner Circle. Well it’s time I let you all know a few things. Public posts will return as I feel motivated and able to write them. I’ll simply ask that you bare with me as I build up to the normal pace again. There will still be some Inner Circle posts but I will endeavour to write more publicly about different things over time.

The reason for the break from writing was due to the sudden death of my relationship. My partner very suddenly left. There is still a lot of hurt and pain over this and it still doesn’t make any sense at all. The reason I say that is it came out of left field and although he still claims to be in love with me he had to leave. Now I’m not going to talk about it to much, but understand that it’s impossible to understand. There is a lot of this that can’t be explained because it’s tied up in his aspergers and unless you can comprehend that it cannot make sense and that someone with aspergers can be totally irrational due to what goes on in their head it would be a disaster for me to try and explain. I’ll leave that for my personal thoughts to the Inner Circle.

Know this. It is still very difficult for me for two reasons. One is that it doesn’t make any sense. Two is that I love him and love him more than I have loved before. As much as I think he is fucked up at the moment, it will never change the intensity or love or beauty I see in him. I still see so much beauty in him. I will not talk on here about any negative or perceived negative things because I don’t believe that is appropriate and would probably be taken the wrong way. As far as this blog goes I will remember him in the positive light and beauty that I saw our relationship.

So please be patient as I try to slowly heal.