For those of you that know me, you will know that Autism and awareness of autism is something I am very passionate about.

Gabe talked about his own experience in his post Autism. I’ve talked about my own in the past but I feel like talking about it again because it also ties in to some of my feelings on stereotypes and communication. Autism or ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) is such a varied issue that for us to call it Autism doesn’t fully explain what we go through. When you think of Autistic you often think of the most extreme stereotype but that is rarely accurate. For those of us with some form of Aspergers (again often stereotyped) we are often misunderstood. For me 99% of people wouldn’t guess there was anything wrong with me other than maybe I’m a little quirky lol. However behind the scenes it is very different. So what I am going to do is talk about my personality and traits and how it affects me, although much of what I’ll say may or may not be part of the disorder, but let me share.

The first thing is that for me I get very exhausted when I have to interact with people or deal with anything emotional. I have learned to deal with it but it’s been a struggle. Often I will be tired although I can hide it but to function in the world I have had to learn to keep going. Now although this may sound normal it’s really not. My entire being is physically and emotionally exhausted to the point often that I can barely function. However over the years I have learned to hide it as much as possible.

Another trait is that I require a lot of quiet time. The reason for this is that I analyse everything in my life or work to an extreme. I have over time learned to sometimes be able to switch it off but it’s difficult. So along with the exhaustion I require quiet time to recover and bring myself back to a place that is manageable. Generally I don’t have a lot of understanding for people who don’t think rationally and my skills in reading body language have been learned as I really don’t have that ability in me. Again one trait that is generally common in aspergers is the inability to recognise body language and tones in people. So you either learn it as a language or you don’t survive in the mainstream.

However the biggest barrier for me is in relationships. Seriously it takes a special and patient person to be in a relationship with me. Naturally I am extremely loyal and often simply don’t understand people that cheat because it has never even entered my thoughts. However in a relationship I can’t comprehend it if lies are told. They don’t even have to be big ones. Even the smallest lie will send my world into a tailspin because I just don’t understand it. So the person I am with has to be incredibly honest otherwise it will be the downfall. It’s the same when it comes to someone saying one thing and doing another without honestly and openly communicating it. My mind simply can’t cope with that so again I need someone who understands that and communicates. Otherwise things don’t ever last long. However in other areas I am extremely patient. Relationships are hard work at the best of times but with someone like me I have to work much harder at it. Simply because I have to understand so much therefore I am always thinking about it. In many ways thats a positive because I always, absolutely always put my relationship first which means that whoever I am with will never need to doubt anything.

On another note due to the fact that I think very logically and instinctively I am very good at dealing with crisis because I analyse the situation and take logical quick action to fix it so in an emergency I’m the one to call lol. Due to my ability to retain enormous amounts of information combined with the logical thinking means that if you need to interpret legislation or guidelines I am great at it. I have other quirks such as if I’m anxious and in deep thought my fingers tap the air and I don’t even know it.

Overall there are lots of traits that are a part of my life which although they appear in others are amplified ten fold. I don’t have a problem with it except when stereotypes are used. This is the same with being gay. There is no real box that describes someone who is gay and yet the stereotypes are there. No matter what stereotype or box people try to put me into I will always surprise because although I may share some of the characteristics of the stereotypes I am not what people expect.

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