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Dec
20
My Bubble
By
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about who I am and the importance of things in my life. It’s not been a good year in 2009 although I remain positive and truly believe that we have good years and bad years. This year has seen a massive change in how I view the world. I have seen people come and go from my life and in particular some amazing people come into my life. However with new dynamics comes a need to re-evaluate how I think and grow in the future.
The thing is, I am not someone who can have dozens of people inside my Bubble. Mainly because it will just send me mental. I have a very particular personality type and therefore am only great at intimate relationships. Too many people and my anxiety will go through the roof. The other part of it is that when I allow someone into my Bubble I take it very seriously. They become someone who means everything to me and I want to be able to give them as much of myself as possible because in my mind they deserve that. I guess that’s why I stick to people I consider low maintenance as much as possible. Remember however that low maintenance is subjective. Those I consider low maintenance others would consider high maintenance and the other way around. For example, I am a very affectionate person so I find affectionate people low maintenance although someone who isn’t affectionate may find me high maintenance.
So to continue, I am at a point at the moment where I am struggling with the mix of people in my Bubble. I know that I will work it out over time but at this point in time I am finding it difficult to balance the situation. I have great people around me but there are some that are on the verge of being removed. It’s not to say they are not great people but they just don’t fit into my life. I feel they drain me of the energy that I believe should be given to myself and those that I deeply care about.
I guess I just have to work through it and make some tough decisions in the coming weeks. I will be as gentle as possible. These may seem like horrible decisions and they are. I spend so much time thinking of others that sometimes I have to think of what I need. Now is one of those times. My Bubble is very important to me because it can have a huge impact on my own life as well as those that deserve my energy. I don’t make these decisions lightly but ultimately they have to be made.
