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Jul
21
Manners
By
I was going to call this post ‘Common Courtesy’ but since it’s not so common I felt strange about using it.
I’ve noticed over time that manners seem to be lacking in society today. Now I could sit here and say it’s the youth of today or some crap like that but it’s not just the youth. I find a lack of courtesy everywhere. For example:
- Â I would say when walking into a retail shop that only about 40% of the time am I even greeted.
- When speaking on the phone with someone there is no closure anymore at the end of the conversation. Not a bye, talk soon or even thankyou. (reminds me of films where this happens all the time)
- Even if people in the office want something there is no please or thankyou.
- When bumping into people walking down the street there is no excuse me.
These are just a few examples of a serious lack of simple courtesy. I am unsure of why people have become so cold. I mean I know people are afraid these days which is why you don’t see a lot of eye contact walking down the street, but if I walk past someone and say ’hi’, they actually seem to appreciate it. So people can’t be that afraid. Â
Even if we could get back to where people use ‘please’, ‘thankyou’ & ‘excuse me’ and ‘sorry’ I would feel there is some humanity left in the world. The world is such a beautiful place and it’s sad that people don’t feel as connected as they once did. Put in a little effort because if you don’t your children won’t and we don’t want to create another generation of ignorance.
I knew this was a common theme in the blogging world this week… you are the third person today to write about this.
Last year I had to attend a funeral of a former co-worker. The men are required to cover their heads to show respect. On passing one of the ladies walking back to our car, I doffed my hat, and she seemed thoroughly surprised to receive a gesture of respect. Well, I was raised that a man always removes his hat or tips his hat when meeting a lady. Maybe it is a bit old-fashioned for some, and some may find it archaic, but manners and respect can go a long way in today’s world.
I have touched on this before on my blog, but, what does it really cost you to say please and thank you? Other than the effort to form the words and expel some breath, nothing. It doesn’t cost anything to say excuse me when trying to get through a narrow spot in a store, instead of just shoving your way through any opening. A genuine I’m sorry if you accidentally bump into someone, followed by a smile will make that person’s day.
It’s not the younger generation, it’s all over the place. It seems we value being obnoxious over being kind or respectful. Perhaps I am too old school, but it took me some time to get used to calling the head of the company I was working for at the time by his first name… previously the head of the company was referred to as Mr. or Mrs., same thing for their assistant. It was a show of respect for the position, particularly if you had someone from outside the company in the office.
And sometimes tiny acts of kindness can totally shift how someone’s day is occurring for them… like you are rushing through the underground, and you hold open the door for the person behind you who has an arm full of packages, or is pushing a baby stroller, and if they say thank you, you give them a broad grin and offer a you’re welcome. Now it didn’t cost anything, but I would imagine that small act of kindness made them smile inside. It’s the same thing as offering your seat on the train or bus to someone who needs it more than you do. I have had some fascinating conversations spring out of a simple act like that.
We can break the cycle of ignorance and obnoxiousness (stop acting like a participant on a reality show for one thing), and bring some civility back to the world.
And Euphoric, have you ever gone into a store, but they are more interested in their conversation and gossip session than they are in serving you? I give them a few minutes, then turn on my heel and think about where else I can take my business as I exit the store.
I think with so many bloggers picking up on this theme in the past week or so, it just may start to get the message out there… that common courtesy is a good thing.
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Hey there I do want to say that I totally understand your viewpoint on the lack of common respect and courtesy in society lately and I blame that mainly on the intrinsic and selfish attitudes we as a society have come to adopt.
I, too have recieved bad service in various retail stores or restaurants but there are many out there in the business who try to be nice and helpful.
But on the opposite end of things, I work in retail, more on the logistical end of things than the service part but I do my fair share.
It also happens on the other end of the spectrum as well. I’m not apologizing for those folks in the industry who are more interested in their chat than their duties, but standing up for those individuals who do help individuals and rarely get the recognition.
In a world where we’re more likely to point out the faults in any given situation, just make sure you give the same credit to the common courtesies.
That individual who helped you find your size, pointed you to the restroom, made sure you were getting charged accurately…you may think it’s “just their job to do that”, but it also makes the people who are helping you much more apt to do it again.
It’s a world of give and take, please don’t forget that the little things you do, such as a “thank you” or attempting to place an item you recently looked at nicely back in the pile can help make your experience and an employee’s job that much better.
After five years in retail, I’m amazed whenever I get a “thank you” or an appreciative gesture or look when I help someone. MOst of the time I get an “I should’ve known that response” or a quick departure as if I were merely a tool to be used.
This became more than I wanted it to be, so I apologize but it is what it is. My apologies.
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